Anxiety in the Pressure: Slowing Down In A Rush

“Ughhh, not today God!” is the first thing I think when I open my blinds at 7 am to see a blanket of snow and black ice on the ground. Followed by the inconvenience of pressure and anxiety.

I’ve lived in Illinois all of my life, so you’d think I would be used to snow by now.

Nope. I have anxiety, on top of driving anxiety, on top of driving in the snow/rain anxiety.

So when big snowfalls hit the Suburban- Chicago area, your girl FREAKS out. Like possibly call into work freaks out. Or going 2 mph and being on the edge of my seat the entire time.

I didn’t call into work this particular Monday because I had just taken a personal day to sleep and work on my mental the Monday prior. So I basically had no choice but to buck up, pray and trust that God would get me to work safely on the unsalted and messy streets.

Of course, I was still feeling anxious. Anxiety isn’t something that just goes away just because you want it to. It’s actually quite stubborn. Almost like an ex who won’t come to terms with the breakup -stubborn. There were no real options other than getting in my car and driving myself to work. I turned on my worship music and praised my God. That helped a lot, but I was still very on edge because worship music didn’t prevent my car from sliding.

It also doesn’t guarantee other drivers on the messy roads aren’t going to be pushy and impatient.

One key thing to remember when living in areas that are prone to snow: everyone’s car and tires are different.

A small car that’s low to the ground can’t speed through snow and ice like a pickup truck with monster tires can.

In this case, my little car kept fishtailing. Only adding to my nerves that were already bad.

But as a driver on the road with other cars, there is an immense pressure and obligation to drive like you know what you’re doing. And yet, for some reason I felt pressure from the other cars on the road to go a little faster than the pace my tires and the snow agreed on.

Maybe it was because everyone else seemed like they had their cars and mental health under control that morning.

The Analogy

As I was driving, an analogy came to mind. One that I think directly relates to life in my 20s right now.

I believe in our 20s, we are so focused on what everyone else is doing. Their careers, relationships, finances, and overall life path. We compare, contrast and assume everyone else has it together; because it looks together when we’re looking at it through the lens of our mess.

I feel like we look at things from the perspective that we were just in school with the same people a few years ago. And now they seem to have their lives put together while we do not. We start questioning if we missed a post-high school or post-college seminar about having all of life’s answers by 30.

Whenever we are feeling pressured to rush things in our lives: walking in our purpose, relationships, our tires in the snow, etc., that creates a breeding ground for anxiety and helplessness.

It creates a playground for disaster because instead of focusing on you, whether it’s your life path or your car and tires, you’re looking at everyone else. And that is when our need for control kicks in.

We start doing things that God never told us to do. Taking on that job when He told you to start your own business; settling for that person when He told you to wait on your spouse.

I hate to break it to you, but we are never actually in control. Even when we think we’re in control, God will humble us quickly. Need I remind you, we’ve been having our normal snatched for 2 years now.

Slow down. Wait on God.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 30-31

When you try to go faster than your car allows, you will always find that your wheels lose traction. If you are rushing on your journey, the same will happen. It may not look like your car fishtailing, but it might look like burnout, health issues or even jealousy due to comparison.

One of most important things to wrap your brain around in your 20s is to know that your journey is unique.

Your peers might look like they are doing all of these amazing things in their life, but you are going at the pace that God destined you to be at right now. Once your focus shifts from what everyone else has going on to your personal journey, you will find your peace starting to come back to you.

God’s Guidance

Going back to the winter driving situation, there was a big turn leading up to the main road that takes me into work. And I was anxious to turn because last year I slid so bad in the intersection, all of traffic had to stop for me. So when the arrow turned green, I hit the gas enough to allow my wheels to gain enough traction, but something odd happened.

My car ended up completely gliding into the turn. I controlled the wheel but it was almost like my car was driving itself. I questioned if my car was even on because it wasn’t responding to me hitting the gas at all. In hindsight I know that was God guiding my car into this major turn on this major street that I was so anxious about. And in retrospect, I know that God is doing the same thing in my life.

When we slow things down and stop allowing society, our peers and ourselves to put pressure on us to rush, we allow space for God’s grace to guide us. Beautiful things happen when you allow them to happen organically.

This analogy may have seemed like a stretch, but I have faith that whomever it is meant for will grasp it and understand it.

Xoxo,

Rickeshia